Nelson, I am working on a memoir right now, but that is only about my particular dysfunctional Southern family.
Philip

I’ve read most of White’s book. A number of SDA readers have sent it to me!
Philip

John Richards

30/30/30

‘Confess your sins, one to another; that you may be healed.’

‘If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse us.’

‘Where two or three are gathered together…’

Several months ago, a close friend in his 30’s who i meet and pray with regularly invited me to Alcoholics Anonymous, an organisation that he has been involved in as a member and mentor over many years and in several countries. He invited me as a guest to a session that he was speaking at one evening, in a village a few miles outside our town. I have worked face to face with vulnerable young people with complex issues over the last ten years and have heard bits and pieces about AA and had also been struck by a compelling account i had read about an AA meeting in which Phillip Yancey was touched deeply by the spiritual pungency and mutual humility and dependence of the members.

As the group convened, the confidentiality rules and format were explained to me and my friend told his fascinating life story of childhood hurt and alienation, steady descent into drugs and dealing, prison, violence, alcoholism and then gradual revelation, repentance, the beginnings of recovery and a slow and purposed walk of deliverance and change via the 12 steps over many years. As he finished and the group thanked him, others began to chip in and contributed from their own lives and experiences, and as they spoke in the little church backroom i was struck by both the incredibly unified diversity of people and the presence of God in the room; folk of all ages, from all backgrounds, at all stages of life, from several countries and every possible walk of life talking nakedly, freely, beautifully, humbly, openly about their own struggles, daily need for change and complete hope in God for redemption. For 45 minutes I literally choked back tears as story after story after story from single mums, mechanics, doctors and lawyers, acknowledged the teller’s brokenness, inadequacy, humility and then desire for real change, healing and complete dependence on God and the community for daily progress and indeed survival. I have been involved in different churches in a great diversity of contexts and roles my whole life and that evening I felt such emotions i had never recognised; a deep sense of Gods purpose and significance on me being there coupled with the frustration and sadness that the profoundly spiritual principles i was seeing so freely and simply displayed by people utterly unchurched were so distinctly lacking in the cell groups, meetings and church experiences of so many christians and church communities that i had attended.

I felt that God had not only touched and challenged me deeply, but had birthed some purpose that was slowly germinating. Several weeks later, over the course of one week-end, I met completely by chance at a party someone else with whom the subject of AA popped up completely out of the blue, in the context of their frustration with their current church situation, and desire for a greater reality in their own relationships. The day after this, my AA friend told me of his consternation at once again sitting in his church that morning while the speaker described redemptive biblical concepts that could only be learnt or outworked in the context of complete mutual dependence, openness, acceptance and humility. As he looked around the church he described how he felt like standing up and asking how these things were to be fulfilled in what was a middle class, discreet and controlled environment of church conformity. He reminded me of my experience at AA and asked me to consider doing something and to lead in some way and left his thoughts with me.

Over the course of the next few days, i felt really stirred and decided clearly that i wanted to do something and that the way forward was to start a community in which we could look to replicate the conditions of AA together and even follow the 12 steps of recovery (that are not actually about alcohol) in a context of complete openness, honesty and mutual dependence. I hoped to experiment with a traditional AA format: 30 minutes of chatting, a 30 minute talk by one member and then 30 minutes of discussion from where we have got our name. As i began to tentatively contact friends and contacts who I thought might be interested and describe the vision i had, i found to my amazement a catalogue of affirmation as time and time again i was told that this was what they had been longing for, praying for, reading about at that very time or had been on their heart and they were desperate to be involved. I assembled a leadership team of 4 of us who met prayerfully and discussed the right venue and format and quickly we had 10 or so men interested. We met initially not really knowing what might happen and sat around drinking cups of tea with no-one really knowing what they were coming to. The group was made up of a real diversity of men both churched and unchurched; from a friend of a friend who has been in prison for the last 18 years to a local church pastoral leader to a newly married friend who had served around the world on the mission field to someone who had never been to church and is a recovering alcoholic. Ten or so men from a great range of backgrounds, all walks of life with differing church affiliations, family situations, experiences and yet the shared desire and hope and commitment for openness, community and a shared process of progress. I began to describe my thoughts and vision and suggested four principles that i felt should be central to what we were doing:

Confidentiality; all that was shared in the group would stay in the group and not be shared outside of it.
Acceptance; we were here to establish a context in which one another’s thoughts, struggles, dilemmas and personalities could and would be accepted and valued regardless of our understanding and agreement. We would seek to maintain unity and encourage and nurture one another at all costs.
Non-Disclosure; Though we wanted a context in which people felt they could pour out their hearts and share their deepest struggles, such disclosure was not a requirement for membership and it was fine just to be there and to listen; no-one would be pressured or expected to share unless they felt completely comfortable to do so.
Support; we aimed and hoped to be able to support one another and establish a shared interdependence of fellowship; if someone expressed a need, concern or hurt with which they were struggling, then the group and the other individuals would hope and desire to support and encourage and nurture that person in whatever way seemed appropriate and to pray for and support them without setting conditions or demands.

Above all i explained my own commitment to the pursuit of ongoing awareness and changethrough openness, brokenness, accountable and real relationships and that these two principles for me were utterly central to the daily outworking of my journey with God. I talked about wanting to be a picture of redemption in my own struggles and redemptive process and how i hoped to be somehowfruitful by living out and sharing these things in my life and in the relationships and people that God has given me despite my numerous ongoing failings and need. I hoped that somehow, the group might be able to incorporate and embody such a process for us all.

Without going into detail i can simply say that the floodgates were opened that first night – almost immediately and without any hint of requirement, intensely moving and personal stories of suffering, struggles, progress, hope and faith were shared and listened to, tears were shed between us and the beginnings of a community formed. We went far beyond the allotted time, closed in prayer (the prayer below that has become our community prayer), and finally a friend spoke up at the end of our time and said in a voice thick with emotion that he had waited 28 years involved in the church in several countries and numerous settings for a group such as this. We all hugged and left; full of excitement, thankfulness and hope.

The group develops and grows throwing up challenges, opportunities, shared tears and an immense amount of intimacy, accountability and laughter. God is gracious and kind to us. We continue to pursue a greater awareness of ourselves and our own need; and then seek to support and encourage one another to change and grow by Gods grace in a context of real-ness – as men humbly outworking our redemption in the incredibly diverse circumstances and challenges the 12 of us face. We are resolutely NOT a christian group nor an AA meeting simply because none of us feel any need or desire to label our 12 way relationship as such. We trust that the principles we try to live out to one another afford us our identity and will carry us forward. We are hopeful and expectant and want our lives, families, situations and futures to be impacted by our desire and commitment to the process and one another. We rely wholly on God to lead and protect and change us as we seek Him together. We feel we are putting ourselves in the palm of His hand. We trust that it is a good place to be.

Almighty and most merciful Father,
we have erred and strayed from Your ways like lost sheep.
We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts.
We have offended against Your holy laws.
We have left undone those things which we ought to have done;
and we have done those things which we ought not to have done;
and there is nothing good in us.
O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders.
Spare those, O God, who confess their faults.
Restore those who are penitent; according to Your promises declared unto men in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Grant that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life;
to the glory of His name. Amen

I’m afraid not–not yet, anyway. I did the talks to work with the program with the actors, and haven’t written about that theme yet.
Philip

I feel I have to add my (slightly delayed) gratitude for your Seasons of the Soul tour. I had the privilege of seeing you speak in Norwich, as well as having a short but thoroughly enjoyable conversation with Janet afterwards. I felt really blessed by the time she gave me and the interest she showed in my enthusiasm of your books (developed from a young age).

I am often struck by your attention to the little details in life that shout volumes about God’s glory if we only take the time to notice it. I believe the gift of time that both you and Janet give to fans after a talk is a real demonstration of this God-reflected essence.

Perhaps one day, over a cup of coffee…

Many thanks and blessings,
Rebecca Burns

I have read each of your new books since 1988 and have tried to obtain what you wrote before that as I can find it available. It has been interesting to see how you have changed as a person and a writer! I am grateful for the ways that your books and essays have helped me — thank you for writing even when you would have rather been outside hiking!

Is there any chance that a paperback with study questions and/or a teachers guide will be published in the near future for What Good is God? It would be dynamic to use to show our concern regarding the questions that are raised in the hearts of people who had close ties to the communities devastated by the recent tornadoes in northern Alabama. We are considering using the title of the new book with the discussion concepts from two of your earlier books (Disappointment w/God and Where is God When It Hurts) in the next weeks. Thank you for any helpful insight.

Blessings!

Carolyn Bott
Pensacola and Orlando, FL

Carolyn,
Somehow in my travels and erratic internet contact I missed your comment. I’m so sorry! Yes, my latest book title applies to a lot of global situations this year, doesn’t it? Fukushima, Tuscaloosa, Joplin. I’m pleased to hear that you, among others, are indeed bringing comfort to those affected.

At this point there are no plans for a guide to What Good Is God? Most editions of Where Is God When It Hurts include discussion questions. Alas, I’m probably too late to help. With this topic, though, discussion usually flows freely. I’m glad you’re helping lead it.

Philip

I have also read “What’s So Amazing About Grace” and will be reading more of your books in the future. On another note, a family friend has been wrongly imprisoned and is now serving a 10 year sentence. He was 17 and has been in jail for almost 5 years. He has many struggles in his life, but has found God and seems to know God. The other family members were not writing to him so I stepped in. It seems God had me do so at the perfect time as he has been confronted with more legalistic religions in prison and has found it exhausting to say the least.

He didn’t even know I existed until my first letter and my next letter included your two books, “What’s So Amazing About Grace” and “The Gift of Pain.” He seems to be enjoying them and your books have empowered me to show him love and encourage him as often and as much as possible. He knew OF your books but as he said, “Didn’t have the privilege of reading them until now.”

Thank you for being a willing vessel for God! You will be in my prayers as you continue writing amazing books that help millions.

Amy P