I am a Hospice volunteer. I visit lots of old and dying people. They give us seminars about every 3-4 months. The one I remember and use is the one listed as “Alive Inside”. It tells of a man who was trying to get help for dementia patients. He said that the last thing to go in your brain is music. Music soothes and is much cheaper than medicine, which also just calms a patient down. He made a video under the above name and went from nursing home to nursing home taking videos of their response.

The two I remember the most are 1)an old man who would sit exactly as you positioned him, rarely moving. He also spoke very rarely. His daughter said he had been a wonderful father, walking them to school daily and singing to them a lot. When they put the earphones over his head and turned the music on, you could see, within 20-30 seconds, his shoulders begin to move in time to the music. Within a few more seconds, he sat straight up and began to sing with the music. When it stopped, he was asked how it made him feel and he said, “loved.”

The second one was an old lady who refused to go anywhere without her walker. They didn’t say if she needed it. They started the earphones and turned on the music. She rose from her chair, walked around the walker, went up to the man doing the study, and made him dance with her.

I realized that I had several hundred old audio tapes and a player. (I’m old too, 80.) I take them with me when I visit homes and nursing homes to see my patients. One lady, with no dementia, still loved the old dance band songs and was so grateful for my bringing many of them. I had several of the old dance bands on tape – Glenn Miller, Benny Goodman, etc. She and her husband, when young, had went dancing every weekend and would dance most of the night. One lady loves gospel music and I play her all the oldies-Geo. Beverly Shea, Ernie Ford, Johnny Cash, The Blackwood Brothers and many, many more.

It would be wonderful if more people would use this way to calm their dementia family members and give them joy. God has made a way in their brain to bring them joy long after we think they are dead in their brains. I thought this might explain Betsy if you had never heard this notion. I am going to google and see if the video is on computer, so I can share with others. Thank you for all the good you’ve done for me.

Great question. Note that Jesus’ prayer follows hours of anguished praying in which he asks God to “take this cup (of suffering) from me,” in effect pleading for some other way. And other places show Jesus spending all night in prayer before major events; I’m sure they seemed much like wrestling. –Philip

Thank you for your reply, Philip. Like I mentioned before, I’m currently reading the book on Prayer and I just finished the seventh chapter, “Wrestling Match”.

You make points for not backing down with God and essentially arguing with him. A quote from the chapter says “Man should never capitulate, even to the Lord”.

However, the Lord’s prayer states that “Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven”. Isn’t Jesus prayer kind of antithetical to arguing with God?? Why did the ancient prophets think arguing with God was good but Jesus does not encourage it per se?

I may be getting this all wrong so please correct me where I am. Thanks!

Sandie

I grew up in such a church, so I understand. You can either 1) Stay in the legalistic church as an “ambassador of grace,” showing another way–which is what the early disciples did as they kept attending synagogue services or 2) Go to the new church and enjoy. Much depends on what level of spiritual nourishment you need. In a sense the “old” church needs you more than you need them–but, then, that’s a demanding and difficult role for you. –Philip

I stumbled upon your blog today and we may never meet but I want to say thank you for the change you have made in my life.

I’ve read ‘What’s so amazing about grace’ twice this year and it is one book that has left me on the verge of tears after reading it both times. It changed a lot about my relationship with God and it was instrumental in helping me overcome a sin I had been struggling with for years(I overcame the sin for like 4 months but I am battling with it again-although that’s another story).

I have a question to ask you. How do you react when you’re a member of a church that breeds the spirit of “ungrace”? I mean a church that when you leave after a service, you only end up feeling like a worse Christian. A church where faith there seems very performative and people of authority in the church]make comments about specific members like “Phillip is not growing” especially when they’re not privy to your personal relationship with God. A church where people can judge you because you don’t attend church meetings every day of the week even though you’re a student and your primary assignment is to study your books. I recently started attending another church where I feel like this spirit does not exist there although I haven’t decided if this will be a permanent change. What do you think?

Also, I just started reading “Prayer” today and I’m looking forward to learning so much. You have no idea what God has done through you in the life of this 20-year-old!