Last weekend was the fourth anniversary of the rollover accident which I describe in the 
first chapter of What Good Is God? Appropriately, we spent it with some wonderful friends from the church in Los Alamos, New Mexico, where I spoke on Prayer the day before my Ford Explorer slipped off an icy road and tumbled over and over down an embankment.
February 25, 2007, was the longest day of my life. In all I spent seven hours strapped to a body board as doctors tried to determine whether a fragment of the crushed vertebrae had punctured my carotid artery. “We have a jet standing by to fly you to Denver for emergency surgery,” the doctor told me. “But, truthfully, if the artery is punctured, you won’t make it.”
Seven hours is a long time. I reviewed my life, regrets and nostalgic memories both, contemplated a possible future as a paraplegic, called loved ones to tell them goodbye just in case. As a Christian writer, I knew I should be thinking spiritual thoughts, but I have to admit that my main regret was that I had climbed 51 of the 54 14,000-foot mountains in Colorado. I can’t die yet—I have three more to climb, I kept thinking.
That same summer, after the neck brace came off, I climbed the last three 14ers. Now, four years later, I’m back skiing moguls and enjoying this grand world. I feel very blessed, and will never forget the born-again feeling of getting another chance at life. Not everyone has that chance. I have friends who went through similar accidents and never walked again, and others who have permanent brain injuries; the crosses beside the Colorado roads (and on Colorado mountain trails) bear witness to still others whose lives ended abruptly.
During the recovery months I heard from friends, loved ones, and readers whom I have never met. As I read the kind of heartfelt words that people often don’t express until it’s too late, I felt like Tom Sawyer attending his own funeral. On down days, I sometimes rummage in a box and re-read them.
The overwhelming gift I take away from my accident is a bedrock sense of gratitude for life itself. This afternoon I stopped work and hiked along a ridge with a view of snow-capped mountains, sat on a rock and watched the birds flit from tree to tree, startled a herd of deer grazing on the hillside. Spontaneous praise spilled out. For all its problems, this world is a magnificent place. I rejoice that I am still here to enjoy it.
“Anyone who is among the living has hope—even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!…Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.” (Ecclesiastes (9: 4, 7)
I was interested to read your recommendation of ‘Disappointment with God’ in response to a question above because this week it has done for me just what the writer wants for her friend. My life has had aspects similar to yours–strict Fundamentalist childhood, (but in PA minus the racism issue), Bible College, loss of parent during youth, love of nature and mountains, and crisis of faith. But mine came after college and lasted for 30+ years, during which I considered myself a Secular Humanist. Seven years ago I moved to Wales to marry a Christian man I’d met during my travels, and got back into church through him (English Methodist). I couldn’t really say that I had left behind the many doubts and negative feelings of those years of disbelief, but I put myself in a place where God could speak to me and help me to overcome all that accumulated negativity. I got involved in volunteer work doing the weekly bulletins and quarterly magazine, posters, publicity, etc., and became quite committed to the people and work of the church. During sermons and singing the hymns I used to love, I often felt God was close, but I always knew it wouldn’t last beyond Sunday afternoon. Recently, when I admitted my struggle to our young pastor’s wife, she recommended ‘Finding God in Unexpected Places’ and I read the revised edition. That led to ordering several more of your books, and this past week my breakthrough came when I read ‘Disappointment with God’. It was perfect for my situation, and I couldn’t put it down. Page by page my negative thoughts about God melted away as I met the God you described. He’s no less problematical or mysterious than before, but he has never for me been so real, so alive, so passionate about loving humans and wanting their love in return. I have found freedom from all my past junk and can love him back without doubts. I’m eager to get on with some of the other books and to discover more of your very helpful interpretations of scripture. My husband wants to read the book, and I told a friend at church about it this a.m. and she wants to get a copy. Funny that an American should learn about your books in Wales! I see you will be in the UK very soon, but unfortunately, we’ll not be able to get to any of the locations you’re visiting at this time. We hope you have a wonderful and meaningful trip over here.
Dear Mr. Yancey,
I have read only one of your books (Where Is God When It Hurts?), but have wanted to read more for years. Today, as I wait in limbo to find out if I have breast cancer, I read the account of your accident (the epilogue of What Good Is God?) and your blog post celebrating four years of renewed life. I feel blessed to become reacquainted with your work and find wisdom, comfort, and hope there.
My goal is, throughout my own sobering process of diagnosis and planning for an uncertain future, to remain hopeful and grateful for the gifts I am aware of each day, but, admittedly, do not always fully enjoy. Your life sounds wonderful, with deep faith, a loving partner and family, time and resources to climb and revel in the wonders of nature, a calling that blesses so many, and untold opportunities and blessings. In comparison (unfair to us both!), my own life experience of painful divorce and single parenthood, the loss of one of my three children to an accident, another child’s heartbreaking struggles, financial worries, slogging away to achieve an advanced degree, a stressful career as a high school teacher, the perfect life partner if only he would marry me, aging family elders, and now the possible cancer. . . in comparison, one could get cynical, ask why me, and descend into self-pity and envy of those whose outcomes seem better. PLEASE keep writing things that will help life-long believers but everyday doubters like me meet and bear our burdens with appropriate perspective, a faith response that goes beyond Christian rhetoric, and reality-based wisdom that affirms God’s goodness and deep love for us, no matter what. Thank you for keeping things real.
I’ll get to those unread books now.
I have reread disappointment with God again and am interested in getting the book on Job by the one you call Richard.