Various blogs have been hammering me for agreeing to speak to a group called the Gay Christian Network. I get tired of writing about this issue because it stirs up such a storm of controversy and little of the dialogue seems constructive. On the other hand, the church must keep engaging, and I know of no better way to engage than to hear the stories of Christians who are struggling personally with homosexuality. Some conservatives think the very term “Gay Christian” is an oxymoron. I wish they could attend a gathering such as the one I spoke to last week and hear the stories I heard. Rather than try to defend my decision just to speak to Gay Christians, I will quote here a letter from the head of GCN:
An Open Letter about Philip Yancey
From GCN’s Executive Director, Justin Lee
Since we announced that bestselling Christian author Philip Yancey would be addressing the GCN conference in 2011, questions have been flying, online and offline. “Is Philip Yancey pro-gay?” some have asked. “What are his views on homosexuality?” “Why would he agree to speak to this conference?” “Why would GCN invite him in the first place?”
Some have criticized me for extending the invitation, thinking an evangelical author like Philip is surely far too conservative to speak to a group like ours. Others have strongly condemned him for accepting the invitation, saying he’s condoning sin. Some have even called for other Christians to disassociate with him.
So I’d like to set the record straight on exactly what this conference is about and why we invited him.
When I was a teenager, I discovered to my horror that I was attracted to guys instead of girls. I was a deeply committed Christian growing up Southern Baptist, and I was firmly opposed to homosexuality in any form. Nevertheless, when I turned to my pastor, church, and Christian friends for prayer and support, they all turned their backs on me, condemning me for my temptations even though I hadn’t acted on them.
GCN began when I met other Christians who were in the same boat. All of us were struggling to figure out how to live holy lives with our same-sex attractions, and all of us had felt the church’s rejection. Some of us ultimately decided to commit ourselves to lifelong celibacy, while others of us decided to pursue monogamous relationships. In spite of our theological disagreements with one another, we all wanted to serve Christ, and we all longed for a Christian community that would hear our stories.
The annual GCN conference is a place for Christians to hear those stories and worship and pray together—gay and straight, women and men, some believing in gay marriage and some believing that gay people are called to celibacy. Our organization does not advocate for any viewpoint on gay marriage, gay rights, or any similar issue; our goal is simply to let people know that Jesus loves them and to provide a safe and compassionate space for the church to work through some of these difficult issues.
I invited Philip Yancey because I respect him as a Christian. I’ve always been impressed at how well he balances our need to live moral, holy lives as Christians with our need to have grace toward those who do things we disapprove of. I did not invite him because of any views he might or might not hold on gays; I invited him because this is a group of people who desperately need to hear not only that God loves them, but that other Christians do, too.
I have no idea what Philip’s views are on gay relationships, same-sex marriage, or anything of the sort. He’s never told me. Honestly, it wouldn’t affect my decision either way. That’s not the point.
Last year, we had a keynote delivered by Baptist minister and author Tony Campolo. Dr. Campolo believes that gay relationships are sinful, and he said so during his keynote address. He also received a standing ovation at the end—from an audience including some people in the very relationships he had just condemned. Why? Did they think he was supporting their decisions? Not at all. They applauded him because he was one of the very few Christians who would dare to reach out to them in love and say, “Even though I don’t agree with you, I love you. I hear your stories of pain, and I want to count you as my friends.” That message was powerful. It changed lives.
I don’t know what Philip Yancey will say in a few weeks when he addresses our audience. We’ve asked him only to say whatever God puts on his heart. I do know that his audience will be diverse: gay couples in monogamous relationships; same-sex-attracted Christians wrestling with the loneliness of celibacy; Christian parents struggling with how to respond to their gay children. One woman I know will be attending with a heavy heart, carrying the memories of her gay daughter, who committed suicide years ago after feeling her mother’s rejection.
As those people, with all their theological disagreements, come together to seek God’s heart, I can think of no one better equipped to speak to them than a man who has gained a reputation both as solidly evangelical and filled with grace toward others. And even though I’m sure he knew people would misconstrue it, I am so grateful that he had the courage to reach out to us in love. It is, I believe, exactly what Jesus would do.
Justin Lee
Executive Director
The Gay Christian Network
————————– (Note: if you have comments to make on this blog entry, please keep them brief and polite. I do not intend to make the blog a platform from which to condemn people holding different points of view. Also, please refrain from posting any URLs to personal blogs or other websites. Thank you. — Philip)
My thought is similar to yours, therefore I try to add some more points to your post. I should start from my high school days when I have a handful of close girl friends and I did not see anything weird to have close friends. This kind of friendships is beautiful, because we can share deeply about our feelings. Until one day, when I met a girl who is not my close friend came to me and confess that she’s a les and asked me whether it’s ok to be les. I told her that if she only admitted that she’s les and wanted to change her behavior, I would say ‘ok’. What made me mad was that she didn’t want to change and came to worse, she blamed God for creating her that way. Sad to say that although I told her that God would draw her out from that indulgence if she let God help her, she refused and tried to attack me with her les behavior. I pushed her very hard and told her that I didn’t like what she attempted to do to me, because I’m not. Finally she left me and didn’t come to see me anymore. I was glad that it’s over.
I met another guy who asked my advice on how to leave his wrong behavior. I became his mentor for several years, but no intensive meetings, because we live in different cities. I asked my co-worker whom he also trusts to follow up. I told her one thing to overcome his weakness. When the desire comes, just cry out to God, “HELP ME!” I do believe that if he didn’t depend on his own strength, he might be able to overcome his ‘strange’ feeling. After many years of struggle, he told me that things are getting better, but his problem is still lingering. Last month I met him and he told me that sometimes it still came back.
From the two persons I knew, I learned that the struggle is real and we can help them by being their friend or counselor, but they know that I don’t want them to condone their wrong behavior. Becoming their friend may cause some risk, too. Others who know people like them being my friends have suspicious nose towards me. They consider me as one of them, too. This kind of risks has made most people try to avoid their circle. Pray for them is the best way to keep them strong! End here for now.