Various blogs have been hammering me for agreeing to speak to a group called the Gay Christian Network. I get tired of writing about this issue because it stirs up such a storm of controversy and little of the dialogue seems constructive. On the other hand, the church must keep engaging, and I know of no better way to engage than to hear the stories of Christians who are struggling personally with homosexuality. Some conservatives think the very term “Gay Christian” is an oxymoron. I wish they could attend a gathering such as the one I spoke to last week and hear the stories I heard. Rather than try to defend my decision just to speak to Gay Christians, I will quote here a letter from the head of GCN:
An Open Letter about Philip Yancey
From GCN’s Executive Director, Justin Lee
Since we announced that bestselling Christian author Philip Yancey would be addressing the GCN conference in 2011, questions have been flying, online and offline. “Is Philip Yancey pro-gay?” some have asked. “What are his views on homosexuality?” “Why would he agree to speak to this conference?” “Why would GCN invite him in the first place?”
Some have criticized me for extending the invitation, thinking an evangelical author like Philip is surely far too conservative to speak to a group like ours. Others have strongly condemned him for accepting the invitation, saying he’s condoning sin. Some have even called for other Christians to disassociate with him.
So I’d like to set the record straight on exactly what this conference is about and why we invited him.
When I was a teenager, I discovered to my horror that I was attracted to guys instead of girls. I was a deeply committed Christian growing up Southern Baptist, and I was firmly opposed to homosexuality in any form. Nevertheless, when I turned to my pastor, church, and Christian friends for prayer and support, they all turned their backs on me, condemning me for my temptations even though I hadn’t acted on them.
GCN began when I met other Christians who were in the same boat. All of us were struggling to figure out how to live holy lives with our same-sex attractions, and all of us had felt the church’s rejection. Some of us ultimately decided to commit ourselves to lifelong celibacy, while others of us decided to pursue monogamous relationships. In spite of our theological disagreements with one another, we all wanted to serve Christ, and we all longed for a Christian community that would hear our stories.
The annual GCN conference is a place for Christians to hear those stories and worship and pray together—gay and straight, women and men, some believing in gay marriage and some believing that gay people are called to celibacy. Our organization does not advocate for any viewpoint on gay marriage, gay rights, or any similar issue; our goal is simply to let people know that Jesus loves them and to provide a safe and compassionate space for the church to work through some of these difficult issues.
I invited Philip Yancey because I respect him as a Christian. I’ve always been impressed at how well he balances our need to live moral, holy lives as Christians with our need to have grace toward those who do things we disapprove of. I did not invite him because of any views he might or might not hold on gays; I invited him because this is a group of people who desperately need to hear not only that God loves them, but that other Christians do, too.
I have no idea what Philip’s views are on gay relationships, same-sex marriage, or anything of the sort. He’s never told me. Honestly, it wouldn’t affect my decision either way. That’s not the point.
Last year, we had a keynote delivered by Baptist minister and author Tony Campolo. Dr. Campolo believes that gay relationships are sinful, and he said so during his keynote address. He also received a standing ovation at the end—from an audience including some people in the very relationships he had just condemned. Why? Did they think he was supporting their decisions? Not at all. They applauded him because he was one of the very few Christians who would dare to reach out to them in love and say, “Even though I don’t agree with you, I love you. I hear your stories of pain, and I want to count you as my friends.” That message was powerful. It changed lives.
I don’t know what Philip Yancey will say in a few weeks when he addresses our audience. We’ve asked him only to say whatever God puts on his heart. I do know that his audience will be diverse: gay couples in monogamous relationships; same-sex-attracted Christians wrestling with the loneliness of celibacy; Christian parents struggling with how to respond to their gay children. One woman I know will be attending with a heavy heart, carrying the memories of her gay daughter, who committed suicide years ago after feeling her mother’s rejection.
As those people, with all their theological disagreements, come together to seek God’s heart, I can think of no one better equipped to speak to them than a man who has gained a reputation both as solidly evangelical and filled with grace toward others. And even though I’m sure he knew people would misconstrue it, I am so grateful that he had the courage to reach out to us in love. It is, I believe, exactly what Jesus would do.
Justin Lee
Executive Director
The Gay Christian Network
————————– (Note: if you have comments to make on this blog entry, please keep them brief and polite. I do not intend to make the blog a platform from which to condemn people holding different points of view. Also, please refrain from posting any URLs to personal blogs or other websites. Thank you. — Philip)
Several years ago I was going through a painful and turbulent time when my college aged son came to me in love and told me he was gay. I could not accept it then so I shelved it for a time that I could process it wholly. Now, 3 years later, I have gone to visit him ever so humbly and ashamed at how (I and ) the Church of Jesus Christ (His body and not denominations) have treated the homosexuals. It broke my heart to see that as Christians we shun them when they most need our love and acceptance (THEIR love and acceptance and not condoning of the sin.) I was so heartbroken to realize that I really did not know my birthed son if I did not know that he was lonely, rejected, and ostracized from the Christian community for difference views and mixed feelings of identity. I did not know that I, his very own mother was a part of the problem and he had no one to go to for help. Now I am concerned of the Church overall. Why do we not welcome wounded people into Jesus’ arms? Don’t we have to minister to their soul before we minister to the sexual preferences or other sinful weaknesses? Are we so much a hypocritical church that we believe their sin is greater than our own ones? I have never attended a church in which some one is told, “you must first quit smoking, drinking, (or whatever) before you can be accepted and be prayed for here.” Yet that is exactly what we are saying to the gays. It’s no wonder that they see us as hypocrites. We are. I do not say that I am condoning homosexuality, it is a sin; but so is over indulgence, drinking, stealing, cursing God’s name, and list goes on.
Unless the Church (body of Christ) gets over this and can see people as people and not sexualize them, we will never be able to intermingle with them when they (and if they) come to visit us at church. They are more than their actions (homosexuals), they are human beings, interesting, intelligent, talented, curious and hurting for God’s love and acceptance.
So what sets homosexuals apart from say drunkards, fornicators and all the other moral sins in the Bible? It may come as a surprise to you but only a simple comma between the words is what sets them apart. Object lesson: we are all sinners, we all have weakness. Where as we do not have to condone the lifestyle, we also don’t kick them when they are down and lonely. Lets just grow up (in the Word!).
I wonder what Jesus would think of our behavior. Our behavior is certainly not like the one that Jesus exhibited with the woman at the well! Blessings to all of you. I do not want you to think that I am judging or condemning any of you because if you notice I have put this in a first person tense. I am the guiltiest of all.
I hear the term “Gay Christians” mentioned often in the comments posted here. Will someone please define what a “Gay Christian” is? I am being serious. First of all let’s define what the bible defines as a christian. It is a person who has realized that as a sinner their sins has seperated them from God and doomed them to hell. By nature we are all sinners. Secondly, this person realizes that they need a person who can intervene on their behalf and save them, whom is Jesus Christ. Finally you acknowledge this to God, accept Jesus Christ as the one who died for ours sins and simply ask God to forgive us for our sins and ask Him to be our saviour and save us.
Now, as a born again christian Jesus commands us to repent of our sinful lifestyle and follow him. This is not my opinion but what the bible clearly states.
Now the same bible is clear about homosexuality. No where does it even suggest that homosexuality is compatible with being a christian. In fact it says completely the opposite. It classifies homosexuality with several other sins and that these people who participates in these lifestyles will not be a part of God’s kingdom. It says that God will pour out his wrath on these people. This is not some “grey” area in the bible like a lot of people suggest it is. So as you can see “gay christians” is not a compatable term. If you think I am wrong on this please point out the scriptures that would suggest otherwise and please don’t suggest we can only believe part of the bible. You can’t pick and choose what you want it to say or what you want to believe.
Finally, there is one other issue I want to address also. There seems to be this idea that churches don’t love or accept homosexuals. I am sure that there are some that don’t welcome homesexuals the way they think they should. On the whole most churches will love you just like any other sinner but don’t expect the church to change its mind and accomidate your lifestyle. The church is not to adapt to us when are are totally living contary to God’s word but its there to teach us how to comform to what God teaches us. Don’t bash the church because it don’t accept you and condone your lifestyle when it is contrary to what God says. One of the lifestyle the bible classifes with homesexuality is drunkards. Yes like drunkards, homosexuals should be reached out to and loved, but they must understand the church will not acknowledge their lifestyle as acceptable. In love, the church must tell the truth of what God says and anything less than that is a shame and doing that person a great injustice.
I am 46. I was brought up in the pentecostal church. My father was a missionary. I was taught my entire life that homosexuals would burn in hell. I believed it. I have been gay my entire life as far as I can tell. I don’t ever remember having an attraction to women. I was never abused, molested, or fatherless. I had a great upbringing.
Because of the way I was taught, I struggled for many years because I didn’t think you could be gay and be a christian. This caused me to pull away from prayer and reading my bible because I couldn’t handle the guilt.
Bible bashing me with scriptures does not help because I already know them. There are so many different views on the scriptures that talk about being gay. Just because one person says that the scriptures are anti gay doesn’t make it true. And just because one person says the scriptures are not anti gay doesn’t make it true. Even scholars that know more about the bible than all of us, don’t agree.
I already tried to pray the gay away as well as admitting my homosexuality to preachers so that they could cast the “demon” out of me. I’ve tried it all because I never wanted to go against God or go to hell. I love God.
Some would say I didn’t try hard enough. Others might say God loves me the way I am and I shouldn’t try to be something else.
I am in a happy monogamous relationship for many years. I want Gods best for my life. It is so easy for people to say “give your life over to Jesus and he will take care of it”, “Just put it all in his hands”. That usually just means get saved, stop being gay, and if you are still gay then you didn’t try hard enough.
I am at a point in my life where I truly have no answers. I can choose to believe Jesus loves me and made me the way I am and hope I am right, or leave my partner and my home and live alone and hope I am right.
I know three things for sure. I love Jesus, I didn’t choose to be gay(trust me), and I love my partner and the life we have together.
For someone in my situation, the answers are not so easy. Nor is sharing my story. Kindness appreciated.
Jesus, I pray for your grace, comfort, understanding, peace, and will.
I was raised in a good Lutheran home. I never questioned God’s love of me or the existence of God. I just accepted it. My older siblings who left the Lutheran church, to join a fundamentalist church, haranged me until “I gave my life to the Lord”, left the Lutheran church and attended their “only right way” church. I met and married a dear friend, only to discover six months later that he was gay. I spent 15 years protecting him from the church and condemnation that would come his way if this secret was exposed. By the year 2000, we could no longer live a lie or raise our children in a fake environment, so we told family, friends and the church that we were divorcing. For some reason I expected love and support from the above individuals, how wrong I was. We were shunned. I’ve only been to church a handful of times since then, the wound has taken forever to heal. Recently I started to feel like taking a risk, venturing out to church again. I think I can trust the more orthodox faiths, like the one of my childhood. However, several days ago my son couldn’t keep his secret any longer and advised me he was Gay… so I have put a hold on attending church. Deciding instead to read “What good is God” and “Where is God when it hurts,” again. You and a few other authors have been my church for ten years. I will do whatever it takes to protect my son from the harshness of the church, as it has already destroyed his father. I have no doubt about God’s love and grace for me, my ex and my son. We need more people like you to keep advocating for all of us. Maybe in time, that will be my calling, to advocate for the broken and hurting ones, I just don’t know how to penetrate the church or even speak to another Christian about all this.
I am convicted on how the Church has been mistreating gay people. Being gay is no different from any other sin! I do not support gay relationships nor the right for gays to be married as I hold to the teaching that there is a spiritual root for homosexualism, but whatever the case be, people just need to know that Christ came to die for their redemption and so that they may know the Lord. We must not shun the gay community just because we think they are doing a greater sin than others. That is self-righteousness. In all things, let us exhibit the love that God extended to us that while we were still sinners, He came and died for us!
Love,
MarcusDS