Various blogs have been hammering me for agreeing to speak to a group called the Gay Christian Network. I get tired of writing about this issue because it stirs up such a storm of controversy and little of the dialogue seems constructive. On the other hand, the church must keep engaging, and I know of no better way to engage than to hear the stories of Christians who are struggling personally with homosexuality. Some conservatives think the very term “Gay Christian” is an oxymoron. I wish they could attend a gathering such as the one I spoke to last week and hear the stories I heard. Rather than try to defend my decision just to speak to Gay Christians, I will quote here a letter from the head of GCN:
An Open Letter about Philip Yancey
From GCN’s Executive Director, Justin Lee
Since we announced that bestselling Christian author Philip Yancey would be addressing the GCN conference in 2011, questions have been flying, online and offline. “Is Philip Yancey pro-gay?” some have asked. “What are his views on homosexuality?” “Why would he agree to speak to this conference?” “Why would GCN invite him in the first place?”
Some have criticized me for extending the invitation, thinking an evangelical author like Philip is surely far too conservative to speak to a group like ours. Others have strongly condemned him for accepting the invitation, saying he’s condoning sin. Some have even called for other Christians to disassociate with him.
So I’d like to set the record straight on exactly what this conference is about and why we invited him.
When I was a teenager, I discovered to my horror that I was attracted to guys instead of girls. I was a deeply committed Christian growing up Southern Baptist, and I was firmly opposed to homosexuality in any form. Nevertheless, when I turned to my pastor, church, and Christian friends for prayer and support, they all turned their backs on me, condemning me for my temptations even though I hadn’t acted on them.
GCN began when I met other Christians who were in the same boat. All of us were struggling to figure out how to live holy lives with our same-sex attractions, and all of us had felt the church’s rejection. Some of us ultimately decided to commit ourselves to lifelong celibacy, while others of us decided to pursue monogamous relationships. In spite of our theological disagreements with one another, we all wanted to serve Christ, and we all longed for a Christian community that would hear our stories.
The annual GCN conference is a place for Christians to hear those stories and worship and pray together—gay and straight, women and men, some believing in gay marriage and some believing that gay people are called to celibacy. Our organization does not advocate for any viewpoint on gay marriage, gay rights, or any similar issue; our goal is simply to let people know that Jesus loves them and to provide a safe and compassionate space for the church to work through some of these difficult issues.
I invited Philip Yancey because I respect him as a Christian. I’ve always been impressed at how well he balances our need to live moral, holy lives as Christians with our need to have grace toward those who do things we disapprove of. I did not invite him because of any views he might or might not hold on gays; I invited him because this is a group of people who desperately need to hear not only that God loves them, but that other Christians do, too.
I have no idea what Philip’s views are on gay relationships, same-sex marriage, or anything of the sort. He’s never told me. Honestly, it wouldn’t affect my decision either way. That’s not the point.
Last year, we had a keynote delivered by Baptist minister and author Tony Campolo. Dr. Campolo believes that gay relationships are sinful, and he said so during his keynote address. He also received a standing ovation at the end—from an audience including some people in the very relationships he had just condemned. Why? Did they think he was supporting their decisions? Not at all. They applauded him because he was one of the very few Christians who would dare to reach out to them in love and say, “Even though I don’t agree with you, I love you. I hear your stories of pain, and I want to count you as my friends.” That message was powerful. It changed lives.
I don’t know what Philip Yancey will say in a few weeks when he addresses our audience. We’ve asked him only to say whatever God puts on his heart. I do know that his audience will be diverse: gay couples in monogamous relationships; same-sex-attracted Christians wrestling with the loneliness of celibacy; Christian parents struggling with how to respond to their gay children. One woman I know will be attending with a heavy heart, carrying the memories of her gay daughter, who committed suicide years ago after feeling her mother’s rejection.
As those people, with all their theological disagreements, come together to seek God’s heart, I can think of no one better equipped to speak to them than a man who has gained a reputation both as solidly evangelical and filled with grace toward others. And even though I’m sure he knew people would misconstrue it, I am so grateful that he had the courage to reach out to us in love. It is, I believe, exactly what Jesus would do.
Justin Lee
Executive Director
The Gay Christian Network
————————– (Note: if you have comments to make on this blog entry, please keep them brief and polite. I do not intend to make the blog a platform from which to condemn people holding different points of view. Also, please refrain from posting any URLs to personal blogs or other websites. Thank you. — Philip)
I am a college student who has been called into the ministry. I have many friends who are openly gay and many of them worry that I would hate them or not talk to them. I may not agree with their life styles but my love for them will never change. I believe since we are examples of Christ presence on earth we must never allow anything to stop ourselves from showing love. I still find myself in confusion but I really believe the answer must always have love in it and nothing less.
Dear Mr Yancey,
I wanted to thank you so much for coming and speaking at the Gay Christian Conference. I was there to hear you speak. But more than your well thought through presentation, I deeply appreciated that you took the risk to come to such a group as this. It was clear to me that you were more about building bridges than walls. We live in a world and culture that polarized around issues all the time and homosexuality has been a prime example. I know that you took some serious risks in coming to this event. The fall out and backlash could be substantial. For that I thank you.
I also want to say that your book on grace has been instrumental in my life and a grounding point at times of doubt and confusion. I have one of those stories like thousand of others who grew up in the church. I was totally sold out to God and wanted nothing more than to do whatever God wanted for my life. I went to Bible school and studied for the ministry and worked as a youth pastor and did some missionary work in India and Hong Kong. But the undercurrent in my life was that I had these attraction to men that I didn’t know what to do with. My belief was that if I was faithful that God would change me. I believe that God could create something out of nothing and that meant that He could create desire where there was none. So I pressed on. I eventually got involved in church based healing programs, ex-gay ministries, and saw several therapists. After many year I found that nothing changed. I was still the same old me with the same homosexual desires. I had a hard time understanding why God would not answer my prays for change. It didn’t seem to be that difficult. It was easy for God. He could just change me and I could move on with my straight life.
Eventually, after being well into my mid forties, I had to come to terms with what was and not what I wanted things to be. I had to assume that things were not going to change for whatever reason. Why? I don’t know. But I had to accept life as it was, not how I wanted it to be. Then began the more difficult task of making sense of all of it. Where was God in all of this? Is God real? Does God care and if so why did He not change me? Can God love a defective human being like me? There was so much shame. And the church wasn’t helpful here. There was no where to really talk about these issues in the church and the sense of rejection was huge. The church was regularly projecting its hatred against gay people. It was so hard to sit in church and hear how God’s love was unconditional and yet see the church rail against gay people. I had so much anger and shame. I wanted to walk away from the church and God and yet I had more that 40 years of history here. It is a part of who I am. Am I wrong or is the church wrong?
This is where your book on grace was so helpful and grounding. I have to remind myself at time that nothing I do could make God love me more and nothing I do could make God love me less. The Gay Christian Network has also been helpful in reducing all the shame I have. There are so many unanswered questions but I keep moving forward; me, my gay self, and God. There is less shame, more grace, more self acceptance and who knows what the future holds.
Thanks so much,
Bruce
“I seem to recall the self-proclaimed righteous people condemned Jesus for hanging out with prostitutes, tax-collectors and other undesirables.”
I seem to recall Jesus telling these people, “Go and sin no more.” He never condoned their sin. But He also never condemned them as the Pharisees and other self-righteous people did. If practicing homosexuality is a sin (and I believe it is), then we should lovingly tell those who are in that lifestyle the truth and give them hope that they can overcome temptation through the power of Christ’s blood. It’s no different than any other lifestyle of sin. The adulterer, thief, liar, and murderer need the same grace as everyone else. The only difference is they don’t seem to try and justify their sin as gays do by claiming “it’s just the way I am.” Yes! It is the way you are, just as I am a sinner, and was a slave to sin until Christ freed me by His blood. There are no more excuses!
Hi, Luke!
Paul was a Pharisee and spoke out of the Hebrew Bible. In that tradition sexuality was determined by the body, the genitals and biology. Paul never had to face the same questions we might ask. Today many people hold that our sexual nature is determined by brain chemistry and hormones. And of course sexual behavior follows sexual nature. The question then becomes how is that sexual nature determined? What if homosexuality is just as “natural” for some as heterosexuality is for others?
Elsewhere in Corinthians, Paul was pretty certain that long hair on men and short hair on women was unnatural. We know now that Paul was wrong on this, and I think he was also wrong on homosexuality.
I don’t know if homosexuality is a sin or not. I know what some passages in scripture imply and how people love to use them to justify their negative and often hateful attitudes toward gays. I also know that homosexuality mattered so much to Christ, that He hated it and was so outraged about the idea that he talked about it – NEVER! Not a word. What He did talk about was love, compassion, forgiveness! The greatest commandment to love the Lord with heart, soul, mind and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves surely should say it all. I just seems to me people are obsessed with the idea of homosexuality because of the sex act itself. They seem to forget that there is a loving, committed relationship between two individuals. Whether same sex or opposite sex, it’s so much more about a committed relationship than about a physical act. I am a heterosexual woman and I’ve been married for 40 years to my husband. Our physical relationship, in the context of our entire marriage, is such a small part of our lives and love for each other. I don’t know of too many heterosexuals who spend the vast majority of their lives together in their bedrooms. If homosexuality is indeed a sin, that is for God to determine. I would suggest that a homosexual Christian who loves the Lord and loves his neighbor as himself is not condemned by our loving Lord but instead is blessed. Conversely, I have concerns for the heterosexual Christian who hates or rejects another person based on a sexual act and thinks that somehow honors God. Thankfully, God is a God of grace, love and forgiveness. Otherwise, we’d all be in trouble, wouldn’t we?